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Monday, June 22, 2009

Johnny M's Quick Hits 2

After what can only be described as an over-whelming reaction to my first version of "Quick Hits", I felt compelled to hit that again:

1) There's a city-wide strike going on here in Toronto, and shockingly I have yet to comment on how fantastic this "anarchist asshole" thinks that is. Sorry about that. We here at JTC love a good strike, but for some reason, I'm just not feeling this one. Perhaps it's the lack of hysteria from our friends at CityTV. Or perhaps it's because the prospect of the city stinking of garbage isn't too appetizing.

Or - more likely - it's because now I can't go swimming because all the pools are shut down. When you're training for an ironman triathlon, that's a bit of a pain. Of course, I'm fairly resourceful, so I think that I'll start swimming down in Lake Ontario. Unfortunately, one of the city services that is not currently being offered is water quality testing for our beaches. As I mentioned to a friend regarding swimming in the lake:

Pro: Schedule flexibility
Con: Fecal contamination

That reminds me of a presentation a class-mate of mine made in university regarding olestra - the "non-fat fat" that makes food taste good, but contains a fat that your body can't absorb. One of the "cons" she listed on her Powerpoint presentation was "anal leakage". As another class-mate yelled, "That's a pretty big con!"

2) This Father's Day, there was a lot of great advice and information being shared around my family table. My nephew made some comment about someone "kicking the bucket", which led to this representative exchange:

My Dad: "Now, 'kicking the bucket' is an interesting expression. Of course, it means 'to die', but its origin is actually from someone committing suicide. You see, when they have the noose tied around their neck, they prop themselves up on top of a bucket, and when they're ready, they 'kick the bucket' away."

Me: "That's just some fascinating, age-appropriate trivia."

My brother: "You realize the kid is 6, right Dad?"

3) Want to make your awards show totally irrelevant? Make Nickelback the big winner.


Anonymous said...

This strike does kind of suck, but how do you feel about the potential LCBO strike? You want anarchy? Take away people's alcohol.

JohnnyM said...

LCBO strike? I'd like to look into this further, but I've got to go stock up on booze...

Running to the liquor store,

Anonymous said...