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Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Periods: Now only found at the end of sentences.

A while back SNL did a great parody commercial called “Annuale”. It's a hilarious bit about a birth control pill that allows you to reduce ragtime ruckus to once a year. At the time, I thought poking fun at the pharmaceutical industry’s chase of completely unnecessary drugs that allow us to control every basic bodily function was hilarious.

As it turns out, it's also insanely accurate; The product development team at Duramed Pharmaceuticals is evidently spending a lot of their R&D time watching SNL, given they just released their version called “Seasonique”.

Granted, Seasonique requires kitty to have a quarterly instead of yearly nosebleed, still, waiting four months for a visit from Aunt Flow would be pretty darn interesting. I don’t know about you ladies, but if my uterine wall was constantly building up and required shedding, I’d like to do that in small, perhaps monthly batches. Just like I don’t think I’d be interested in taking a bowel movement suppressant and shitting a turkey every two months.

Anyways, for those of you out there tired of riding the cotton cowboy with your wounded clam, Duramed has the answer! Grab yourself a batch of Seasonique, and then go to a store, buy a hat, and get ready to hold the fuck on to it.

And don't forget to make out with your dog.