Welcome to JTC Inc.

Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Time for another HR Card

It's been a while, so here you go, suckers:

You know what's funny? The majority of e-Moron and HR cards are inspired by real life events. THAT'S funny.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Our 100th Post!

Well, we've now crossed the mythical barrier that so many other blogs fail to reach by making our 100th posting. To get to 100 posts, you need a certain blend of style, work ethic, humour, alcoholism and rugged good looks. Fortunately, we have all of these in abundance.

In no particular order, we'd like to thank:
- the internet
- God
- Moosehead
- Kilkenny
- The Leafs
- The Raptors (damn you, Nets!)
- our unintentionally hilarious co-workers
- assholes on the TTC
- the makers of Moleskin notebooks
- man made prisons
- Co-Habitational partners (CHPs)
- JTC cornerstone events
- the Y
- the T
- acronyms

By the way reader(s), do you remember back when people used to actually comment on our posts? I do. It was awesome. Please start that shit up again.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Lunch: A Commitment I'm Just Not Comfortable With

About a month ago, I was invited to a work function. As I scanned the names of the people invited, I saw that a guy I went to university with was also included. I had no idea this dude worked at the same company I did (I just love corporations!), and I hadn't talked to him in the 8 years since I graduated.

Feeling much more upbeat and social than usual, I thought I would write the guy an e-mail and ask him if he'd like to go grab a coffee. E-mails were exchanged, and a mutually convenient time was picked. Then, the guy bailed on the coffee the day of, stating that he was ill. Thinking perhaps that he really had no intention of wasting 30 minutes of his life with yours truly, I told him to re-schedule our appointment at a time that was good for him. Shocking as it may be to our reader(s), it appeared that this fellow decided that he didn't want to enjoy the social ecstasy that is experienced by those who get to hang out with me, as he never replied.

Fast forward to earlier this week, when the aforementioned work function actually happened. I bumped into the guy there, and he was all, "Hey! Sorry I never got back to you on the coffee! Actually - screw coffee! Let's do LUNCH!"

Beep, beep, beep - let's back this baby up a second. I was prepared to commit to a 15 - 30 minute coffee where if the conversation lagged, I could pick up my still steaming cup, and head back to work. (And by "work", I mean "surfing the net".) If a lunch goes south, you're completely fucking trapped. I mean, if the appetizers come, and this dude starts breaking out pictures of the wife and kids and droning on about some mundane shit, it's not like I'm going to pick up my bowl of soup, and say, "Let's do this again real soon!" as I'm walking out.

Shit. And the guy actually booked the lunch too. I think it's next week. I'm fucking terrified.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

A Foreign Discussion on the Flu

So I woke up this morning feeling like shit, and my co-habitational partner asked if I was staying home.

CHP: “You’re not feeling well? What’s wrong?”
Coco: “Well, I think I’m hot blooded. Here - check it and see,” (passes over thermometer) “I got a fever of a hundred and three.”
CHP: “Come on baby, do you do more than dance?”
Coco: “What?”
CHP: “I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded!”
Coco: “Are you making fun of me?”
CHP: “Now it’s up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous.”
Coco: “Where – I don’t really feel like leaving the house.”
CHP: “Just me and you, I’ll show you lovin’ like you never knew.”
Coco: “You don’t understand – I really don’t feel like it. Because I’m hot blooded. Check it and see.”
CHP: “If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night.”
Coco: “Well, I’m staying home from work today for sure.”
CHP: “Shall I leave you my key?”
Coco: “Sure, but I’ll be upstairs in bed, so when you get home, you’ve got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign.”
CHP: “Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?”
Coco: “Yeah. I’m hot blooded, check it and see. Feel the fever burning inside of me.”