Welcome to JTC Inc.

Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year from your friends at JTC Inc!

Before I head out to get hammered, I just thought I'd share with you something I found quite hilarious from this week's NOW magazine here in Toronto:

If there were no hangovers, many of us would have very happy, albeit brief, lives. Here’s to January 1, our collective morning after.

WHAT: Water

WHEN: After every drink

WHY: I can’t imagine why. Following every alcoholic drink with a big glass of water does not prevent a hangover, it merely drowns your buzz. Farmers are good with regular, measured applications of water. Drunks are good with the regular, measured applications of booze. Show me an irrigated reveller and I 'll show you a sober person, most likely on his/her way to take a pee. The H2O hangover prevention theory is like suggesting that celibacy is the best way to avoid STDs.

AVAILABILITY: Your tap, where it’s absolutely free

Friday, December 26, 2008

Holiday Wishes from JTC Inc.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Throw a shoe at me once, shame on... shame on you. Throw a shoe at me - can't throw a shoe again.

Below is some very brief coverage of a couple of video-related items that I found interesting.

The Shoeing of Bush

If you're trying to keep warm this winter by keeping your head tucked up your ass, it's possible you missed an Iraqi reporter throwing his shoes at the leader of the free world like he's the Random Task of Iraq or something.

TTC-inspired Music

We've casted numerous darts and laurels at our beloved and beleaguered Toronto public transit, however I was impressed to have discovered the system has inspired not only our ranting here at JTC, but some quality musical numbers that span recent decades.

First, the contemporary "I Get On The TTC", which pays hip-hop-homage to the system.

My highlights of this little ditty include:

  1. The guy in the background (as pictured above) hand gesturing east side, south side and west side (1:20-1:24), followed by a passionate delivery of "word!" - awesome.

  2. Multiple gratuitous uses of "word!" (my favorite at 1:38).

  3. Overall, the lyrics and their rap-tastic delivery are solid; "Pocket full of celery when I get off at Bellamy" at 1:57 is a fine example.

  4. The trueness-to-form of the hip-hop effort, including the classic and requisite R&B slow-down interlude at 2:52, with slow thematic electronic notes backing a computerized voice serving up multiple repetitions of "I get on" in a heavy, rolling layer of sexyness. I can hear panties hitting the floor right now.

The second number is the classic "Spadina Bus", a surprise 1986 Top 40 hit by Toronto's Shuffle Demons, inspired by the now defunct 77 Spadina bus route (retired after the 1990s installation of the 510 streetcar and it's right-of-way).










There are several things to love about this video:

  1. One of Toronto's revered contemporary musicians, Richard Underhill (pictured above), loses some of his jazz-club-cool when seen in this video scattin' like he's part of a hippie, Sesame Street version of the Beastie Boys.
  2. Evidently the retirement home gate was left open during the shooting, given the hilarious crazy old person dance circle at 3:10.
  3. Overall, the outfits are well done - the mixture of tie-die, unorthodox facial hair and checkered pants is amazing.
  4. The lyrics overall are quite impressive. I particularly like the line "I want confirmation on my information about my transportation from Spadina station", and intend to use this with the toll collector at my next visit.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Another HR Card!

It blows my mind that I witnessed this. That said, being the next speaker was pretty damn easy.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

JohnnyM's Quick Hits

You know, a lot of the time I have ideas for blog posts that never become anything. This could be because these ideas are "bad", or "not very well thought out". But it might also be because I don't have time to sit my ass down and take the time to write what I consider to be a good posting. Let's go with that explanation.

With that in mind, I now present to you "JohnnyM's Quick Hits". This has nothing to do with those pictures of me from university with a bong in my hand, but is rather a forum for me to express some (not very well thought out) ideas and comments that have recently come to mind. Will this be a semi-regularly recurring post? Will it not suck? Let's hope so. Let's get this party started:

1) Despite CoCo's attempt to run as a Bloc Quebecois candidate in Toronto, we rarely get political on your asses, but I have to say that I am absolutely fascinated by all of this "bring down the minority government with a new coalition government, and install a lame duck Prime Minister" stuff that's been going down lately. Maybe it's because I'm an "anarchist asshole", or maybe it's because I think being an arrogant prick is enough of a reason to fire somebody, but I'm all aboard the Coalition Train, baby! Let's do this! (If I thought we had any readers in Alberta, I'd apologize at this point.)

2) This one has been irritating me for a few weeks now. That's right, this whole Beyonce - "I am...Sasha Fierce" bullshit. More like, "I am...pretentious". I don't really know what the hell gets into musician's heads when they decide to create "alter-egos", but I don't think it's anything good. I mean, when has this worked? Maybe with David Bowie and Ziggy Stardust, but at least he had the excuse that he was clearly doing a pack-mule's worth of the finest Columbian cocaine each day. What's Beyonce's excuse? Anyone else remember Garth Brook's alter-ego, Chris Gaines? I do, but only because one time Garth Brooks hosted Saturday Night Live, and some moron called Chris Gaines was the musical guest. And it was shit.
Full disclosure: when I created my blogger account, I narrowed down my list of potential screen names to two: the eventual winner, "JohnnyM", and "Sasha Fierce". Maybe I'm just regretting that decision.

3) You know what's coming up in a couple of weeks? That's right - it's my favourite post of the year! Here's the 2006 and 2007 versions.