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Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Iraq Me, Dave Petraeus

For anyone who though yesterday's post was a little nuts, I'll have you know it was good enough for the writer's at the Daily Show, who did the same thing in last night's show (the Amadeus take on "Iraq Me, Dave Petraeus" - produced and aired AFTER mine was published).

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I was totally not smoking anything

This weird day dream I had is inspired by the classic Simpson's musical, and the recent meeting of the Armed Services Committee of the United States Senate.

The part of 'apes' was played by the United States Senators, the 'lone female nurse ape' by Hilary Clinton, the part of 'Troy McClure' by America's ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Crocker, and the part of Dr. Zaius by General David Howell Petraeus of the United States Army, whom you might recognize from battles such as Operation Iraqi Freedom, Operation Restore Democracy and Operation Desert Spring.

Senators: Help us, we're spending $1 trillion and losing thousands of American lives to create a new al-Qaeda base in Iraq!
Crocker: Get your paws off me, you dirty apes.
Senators: [gasping] He can talk!

Senators: [in unison, rythmed] He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk

Crocker: [singing] I can siiiiiing!

[funky beat of "Rock Me Amadeus" starts playing]

Clinton: Ooh, help me General Petreaus!
Senators: [in unison] General Petreaus, General Petreaus
General Petreaus, General Petreaus
General Petreaus, General Petreaus
Oh... General Petreaus

Crocker: What's wrong with me?
Petreaus: I think you're crazy.
Crocker: Want a second opinion.
Petreaus: You're also lazy.

Senators: [in unison] General Petreaus, General Petreaus
General Petreaus, General Petreaus
General Petreaus, General Petreaus

[one Senator starts breakdancing]

Oh... General Petreaus