Welcome to JTC Inc.

Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Monday, September 29, 2008

WTF Volume 8: Your JTC Board of Directors

WTF Factor: Sheepish smile

Hi there. Sorry about the wait. After literally being inundated with one comment on my last post, I really feel like we owe you an explanation. I think our old friend 'Anonymous' really summed it up well here:

"where the hell are you guys????"

Where, indeed? I mean, surely some shit must have been happening with us that we could have written about. CoCo and I attended the totally misleadingly titled "Virgin Festival" on the Toronto Islands a few weeks back, where Noel Gallagher - a man who has had a not insignificant impact on my musical listening career - was assaulted on stage. Then, because I'm much smarter than he is, I managed to get home around 11:30pm, while CoCo was waiting for a ferry for over two hours. That would seem to have blog post written all over it! And yet...nothing.

I traveled to New Brunswick for work, with a thought of writing a "WTF Redundancy Volume 47: Fredericton" post. Turns out that Fredericton is a beautiful city with a lot to offer the exercise-minded business traveler. Son of a bitch. I considered writing a "WTF - How Come You're So Awesome, Fredericton?" post. And yet....nothing. (And in my defense, that post would have sucked.)

Just last week, in an attempt to draw us out, our friends at the Toronto Transit Commission decided to create commuter chaos by making up a situation which shut down the subway system for hours. I mean - "cables on the track"? Embarrasing. And yet...nothing.

Well enough of this shit, my friends. We're back. On Saturday night, I'm going out to Nuit Blanche, which - if you aren't familiar - is this all night art thingie that Toronto apparently ripped off from other cities that probably do it much, much better. Last year, we walked around and looked at the "art", and even came up with our own JTC-based exhibit entitled, "Juxtapose Strobe". The premise is this: We do the robot with a strobe light pointed at us, whilst yelling "Juxtapose!" and "Strobe!" Trust me - it's better than most of the shit out there.

Speaking of shit, last year when we were walking around, we saw a toilet at the side of the road. For a second, we thought perhaps it was an "art installation". Turns out that someone was just... you know...throwing away a toilet. Still - I tried to convince CoCo to sit on it, and simulate defecating to see how many people we could convince that it was "real art". If only we'd had a strobe light. Juxtapose!

This Saturday should be a real barn burner. In the words of CoCo:

"We’re not fucking around this year – we’re bringing tons of booze and food with us in packs and just drinking and partying throughout the whole thing as opposed to pub crawls. Even thinking of making a sign that we’d carry around with us, and when we sit down and drink, put it up – it would be a fake installation sign and the art would be called “People tired of looking at art and drinking in a park” and the description could be something like “it’s the juxtaposition of the drinking with the art appreciation” and maybe we could take a strobe light along or something."

Juxtapose! Strobe!