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Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Consumers: Light sweet crude tastes bitter

NEW YORK (Reuters) - U.S. light sweet crude closed at end of day up $1.08, to $70.40 a barrel, the highest closing price since 1983. Intra-day highs are challenging record levels as seasonal effects take hold.

"Light sweet crude is particularly sought after by refiners during the spring and summer as it provides a high yield of delicious gasoline," said Mike Smittner of Ceilon investment bank, "but it's possible that oil's high prices may soon allow Iranian uranium to compete as the energy source for consumers." This comes following former Iranian President Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani's announcement on Monday that Iran would continue to enrich uranium.

"Oil is becoming far too expensive," says Peter Brentcliff, a long-distance commuter, "and light 'sweet' crude did not taste as advertised. It tasted bitter, especially at these prices." The sentiment is shared by most consumers who are now looking for a new source of energy, possibly thirst-quenching uranium, which is being produced in abundance by Iran.

However, existing price controls and subsidies on crude oil are a significant competitive challenge for emerging markets attempting to sway consumers away from oil. "Even at these ridiculous prices, this stuff is still cheaper than bottled water", says Mr. Brentcliff.

Friday, April 07, 2006


While PChrist's entry below is admirable in the way that it encourages recognizing people who do an excellent job, let's face facts: here at JTC Inc, it's expected that you do an excellent job. What we really want to do is belittle and ridicule those that do a shitty job. Thus, we've created a line of cards that can be sent to those co-workers who really make coming to work painful. We haven't come up with a decent name for these yet ("No Thank Yous" and "Underachievers" have been suggested but don't quite have the "flare" we're looking for), but that doesn't mean they aren't fantastic.

Please feel free to comment on your favourite, let us know if you have a better name for this program, and forward them on to your idiotic co-workers.