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Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Why Am I The Only One To Notice The Obvious?

Now, I don't want this blog to become all about the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC), but fuck it - here's another post about the TTC.


Last week, the TTC unveiled a bold and daring new vision for transit here in the city of Toronto, involving extensive building of a light rail transit system. You can tell it's going to be awesome, because if you stare at the map for long enough, and unfocus your eyes, it totally turns into a sailboat. Check it out:




This plan is going to cost $6 Billion, and take 15 years to build. Yeah - that's right - "Billion"...with a "B".

Anyhoo, there's been much hand-wringing over where the hell the money is going to come from. Hey - let me tell you something I've learned about money: if you just go ahead and spend it, you'll find it from somewhere. That type of shit just usually manages to take care of itself. I mean, you should still be responsible - for example, I wouldn't recommend putting a big chunk of that $6 Billion on a credit card (unless you can pay it back quick - think of all the points / Aeroplan miles you could get!).

So - we've ascertained that the money isn't going to be a big deal. No, my friends, the real problem is this - as previously noted, the TTC is full of assholes. If you're going to build 120 kms of new track, that's a lot of trains, and hence a lot of assholes. Where are all the assholes going to come from? I mean sure - right now at rush hour, it seems like there's an endless supply of assholes. But can we take these assholes for granted?

Starting tomorrow morning, I'm going to talk to all the assholes I see on the TTC, to see if they have any asshole friends who live in Toronto, but currently aren't riding the TTC, or who would consider moving to Toronto specifically to be an asshole on the TTC. If I put my mind to it, I know I can solve this looming asshole-shortage.

Asshole,
Johnny M

3 comments:

Coco The Monkey said...

They could come down to my office - lots of assholes there.

jmce said...

If they add a light rail from bay and gerrard to bay and university, I can take it to help with the TTC asshole shortage.

I can even bring luggage to work.

Jmce said...

that should be gerrard and university of course.

This freggin thing wont let me edit my other comment