Welcome to JTC Inc.

Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

People Who Don't Speak English Very Well Are Funny Volume 2

As previously discussed, those in this world that do not have a masterful control of the English language sure are funny. As luck would have it, one of our fans* sent us an agenda from a conference being held in China, where similar issues seem to prevail. Check it out:

07:00-08:00 Breakfast
08:00-08:15 Move from Hotel to Qinshan Phase III
08:30-12:00 Intercourse
12:00-12:45 Lunch
13:00-16:30 Intercourse
16:45 Return to Hotel

Now, I don't know about you, but when I read this, a few thoughts came to mind:

1) An hour for breakfast? A fucking hour? Have you been to a conference before? There would be, like, 5 minutes of eating and 55 minutes of awkward small talk. That's why you show up to the breakfast at about 7:50...eat some food, pretend to be interested in whatever inane shit the person sitting beside you has to say, and move straight to the...uh...intercourse.
2) Is Qinshan Phase III as good as Phase II? Because after Phase II, I remember thinking, "There is no way they are going to able to improve on that!" Oh, Qinshan - you've probably proven me wrong, again...
3) Shouldn't we be having intercourse at the hotel? Why are we leaving the hotel for the intercourse?

The bottom line is this - any conference that features 7 hours of intercourse a day is something that we here at JTC can fully endorse.

Secret: I'm kinda drunk,
JohnnyM

*We have no fans.

1 comment:

FallenMuse said...

You've got atleast one fan now - this is the most entertaining blog I've seen in a long while. lol...intercourse