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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Invasion of the Body Scanners

There’s been a lot of press about the new body imaging systems that have just been approved for several Canadian airports, and it seems a lot of people have concerns, including “privacy advocates”, who are concerned about the invasiveness of the devices. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. But before I get started, let me just say right off the top that if anyone reading this is currently hiring full-time advocates, I am totally interested. Also I’m pretty flexible - while being a privacy advocate interests me, I’d be interesting in advocating for any number of common nouns you need an advocate for, like sexuality or alcohol.

So what is the big deal with the scanners? While the image probably isn't going to be your online dating profile picture, it’s not like it’s being put up on a big screen or emailed to your relatives. And come on, who really is seeing this picture anyways? The dude working security and looking at the pictures isn’t going to leer at you after passing through and raise his eyebrows suggestively or imitate cunnilingus with lewd “v-finger cradling sexually explicit tongue” gestures (c’mon, you know what I’m talking about).

Besides, they’ve had this panty-spotting stuff available to consumers for years, and Superman has been telling women the colour of their underwear since the seventies.

Unless you typically wear a sumo-suit onto the plane, it’s not like everyone can’t get a sense of your body shape and it’s hideous flaws just by looking at you. Besides, a lot of people tend to wear shit that is way more horrifically revealing than the body image pictures are (that’s a life-changing website, by the way).

In summary, while I’m generally against the government’s frequent invasions of our privacy, a confidential scan that looks under your too-tight-linked-sausage-rolls outfit isn’t going to make news of the fact that you are a horrifically proportioned individual, and if it saves me from rubbing elbows with people who wear plastic explosives as undergarments, I support it.

1 comment:

MC said...


i would like to see pictures of the people who are complaining about this. im sure it would explain a lot.