Welcome to JTC Inc.

Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Pabst Earnings Fall; Lowers Outlook On Weak 'Smear' Sales

SAN ANTONIO — Pabst Brewing Company [PBC-N] said its first-quarter earnings fell on disappointing sales of it's newest brand, 'Smear'.

The troubled brewer was seeing a resurgence of sales due to the cult following of it's 'Blue Ribbon' beer at US colleges and universities, and in turn invested the success into the development of their latest beer, 'Pabst Smear'.

"I just don't get it", said Theo Dominique, a local distributor we spoke to who was busy promoting Smear at a downtown nightclub, offering a free Pabst Smear to patrons.

"Head office is asking me to push the Smear, but when I talk to my buyers, they say everyone keeps asking for Pabst Blue Ribbon."

During our interview, Mr. Dominique had trouble passing out samples. "See? I can't even give the stuff away. I keep offering one, and all I get are weird faces."

No comments: