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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Thank you House of Blues!

From: Monkey, Coco
Sent: Wednesday, November 29, 2006 2:59 PM
To: House of Blues
Subject: Thank you!

To whom it may concern:

I wanted to extend hearty congratulations to House of Blues (HOB Entertainment Inc, a subsidiary of LA-based Live Nation) on achieving your corporate mission to create a ‘profitable principled global entertainment company’, mainly through your groundbreaking method of egregious overcharging of your customers.

You have determined that a customer who reduces demand on your call center by using your website to purchase tickets should be charged the meager sum of $6 in service charges (a 32% markup on the $18.50 ticket I purchased). You’ve also determined that the convenience of having the ticket I ordered mailed directly to my house calls for a charge of $18 (a 3500% markup on the Canadian domestic $0.51 postage cost). HOB provides me, the customer, the opportunity to spend more on service and shipping than the actual musician or venue. If I look up ‘value’ in the dictionary, beside a giant tub of mayonnaise, I’m pretty sure I’ll see the HOB logo.

When ordering tickets for House of Blues through Ticketmaster Canada, it’s evident that the customer gouging philosophy extends to your business partner and only competitor. In addition to the $6 service charge, Ticketmaster adds a value-added ‘facility charge’ of $1 per ticket to the invoice (I think this charge is for the bathrooms?), as well as a measly $30 shipping fee.

Through my ticket purchase, it’s not the band or local venue that I want to support – the real goal is supporting value-added ticketing monopolies like yours. Without your organization, the whole live music industry would collapse into than hands of local promoters, who would most certainly lead the music scene into an abyss of affordable venues and increased audiences.

Whether it’s gasoline, prescription drugs or concert tickets, it’s organizations like yours that make these industries work by promoting a completely free-market economy through ensuring the entire market is controlled by a few large players.

Thanks for making America beautiful.


JohnnyM said...

I really enjoyed the "tub of mayonnaise" reference. FYI.

pchrist said...

Re: the facility charge...I didn't know about this, but at my next HOB concert I'm going to piss on the floor of the bathroom to get my money's worth.

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well, that is a new type of spam. But it does increase your readers to 3.

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I'll have you know that "anonymous" is a close, personal friend of mine.