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Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Don't Lose Your Head In A Crisis

So, yesterday I was surfing around on the internet, and I was looking at the headlines on the City News website. "Man Decapitated on Bus" screamed one headline. Given that I feel that City News has about as much credibility as the National Enquirer - I wouldn't be surprised to see a headline announcing "Alien Impregnates Cat" - I didn't even bother looking at the story.

Then I went to the Globe and Mail's website, and found out that someone had actually been murdered on a Greyhound bus. After being stabbed multiple times, the attacker had hacked off the victim's head. And they say all the creeps and weirdos are on the TTC.

I discussed this shocking story with CoCo last night over a couple of beers. I felt that this incident could potentially be a real publicity problem for Greyhound, and that Via Rail may see a sudden upswing in business. I started trying to come up with Via Rail slogans that could capitalize on the story:

"Via Rail - 100% Less Decapitations Than Greyhound!"
"Don't Lose Your Head - Take Via Instead!"

CoCo then suggested that a severed head could be the new spokesperson for Via. Or could offer testimonials on how shitty Greyhound is. Or something like that. I don't really know what the hell he was talking about. That guy is so fucking insensitive sometimes.

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