My co-board member Pchrist recently saw what he thought was a picture of Bette Midler. Being totally into that genre of music (and steeped in gayness), JohnnyM promptly corrected him, indicating that it was in fact Barbara Streisand. Given the many similarities between these 60-something Jewish goddesses, I can see how Pchrist mistook one for the other. So, following the inspiring (and somewhat gay) path that JohnnyM has blazed (flamed?), I'll attempt to show the subtle differences between these aging songstresses, and through the course of that exercise, decide who is hotter.
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Hotness Category 1 - Nickname
Bette: "The Devine Miss M"
Barbara: "Babs"
Edge: Obviously "Babs".
Hotness Category 2 - Jewishness
Bette: Known to pepper her speech with yiddish
Barbara: Won't even press elevator buttons on Sabbath
Edge: Barbara, by a schtickle.
Hotness Category 3 - Singing voice
Bette: Sultry, with occasional schtick
Barbara: It's not without it's chutzpah
Edge: I want to be the wind beneath Midler's wings.
Hotness Category 4 - Nose
Bette: Average
Barbara: Schnozzle
Edge: Babs.
Hotness Category 5 - Trunk
Bette: Juicy
Barbara: What a Tuschus!
Edge: Streisand.
Simple math: it's 4-1 Babs. Mazal Tov, you hot, hot yenta.
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