Caught with my pants down

As previously reported, The Carlton hotel in Edinburgh lost a valued pair of pants. My follow up activities with the hotel are getting interesting, so I thought I'd share my progress. Below is the thread to date, unedited (save names and email addresses). I've put the thread in chronological order. More updates will be posted as they become available.

-----Original Message-----
From: Monkey, Coco T.
Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2007 5:30 PM
To: 'Carlton Reservations'
Cc: 'stay@paramount-hotels.co.uk'
Subject: Missing Laundry
Importance: High

To Whom It May Concern:

I stayed at the Paramount Carlton in Edinburgh for the nights of July 30th and 31st (room 235). I put a pair of pants in the laundry service on arrival, and found the next day that they had not come back from the service and I wouldn't have them before flying out of Edinburgh on the 1st. I was not happy with this given I called the front desk multiple times on the 31st to confirm they were going to be back in time. I was told they would be sent by mail.

I called last Friday having still not received the pants here in Canada. I was told they did not know if they had been posted, but that they would call housekeeping and call me back by Monday. I did not hear anything.

I am not willing to spend more money on transatlantic calls to collect on a pair of pants. Can you please get the appropriate people to figure this out in short order and give me a status and expected arrival. I'm not pleased with how this situation has been handled to date.

I need someone with accountability to close this issue.

Coco

-----Original Message-----
From: Monkey, Coco T.
Sent: 17 August 2007 19:58
To: 'Carlton Reservations'
Cc: 'stay@paramount-hotels.co.uk'
Subject: RE: Missing Laundry

To Whom It May Concern:

I am incredibly frustrated in that I have still not received a response to this inquiry. Please respond and find resolution to my issue as soon as possible.

Coco

-----Original Message-----
From: Bernice Heard
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 7:01 AM
To: Monkey, Coco T.
Subject: RE: Missing Laundry

Dear Mr. Monkey,

I am writing to acknowledge receipt of your email today and I thank you for bringing your comments to our attention. Please accept my apologies for any disappointment caused.

I have requested the hotel to investigate and respond directly to you. I will closely monitor the actions taken and the outcome of the situation.

You should receive a formal response from the hotel very shortly, which I trust will resolve any queries and answer your concerns. Should you require any further assistance in the meantime or in the future, then please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely

Bernice Heard
Customer Relations Manager

Please consider the environment - do you really need to print this email?

-----Original Message-----
From: Monkey, Coco T.
Sent: 21 August 2007 22:04
To: Bernice Heard
Subject: RE: Missing Laundry

Bernice,

To clarify, I've learned that by 'pants', for you Scots, I should actually be saying 'trousers'.

Coco

-----Original Message-----
From: Bernice Heard
Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2007 5:15 PM
To: Monkey, Coco T.
Subject: RE: Missing Laundry

Dear Coco,

I hope you don't mind me saying, a few had a giggle, but we knew we were looking for trousers.

I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Best wishes,

Bernice Heard
Customer Relations Manager

Please consider the environment - do you really need to print this email?

-----Original Message-----
From: Monkey, Coco T.
Sent: 21 August 2007 22:39
To: Bernice Heard
Subject: RE: Missing Laundry

Dearest Bernice,

Fair enough, but instead of giggling about my confusing underpants with slacks, perhaps you guys could, you know, actually find my trousers, and return them to me as soon as possible?!

Not to get my pants in a knot, but if you lost said knickers (which I'm assuming you did since you still have no response on the matter), I'd appreciate you coming clean on it.

At this point, I think it's fair the Carlton refund me the value of the missing britches ($100 CAD, about 50 quid) by way of cash reversal on my visa.

At the risk of lodging legging-related threats, without any remuneration for what is ultimately the Carlton's inability to clean and return a pair of longies, I will have to resort to exercising my only avenue of retaliation and post an unfavorable review of your hotel on widely-used tourist websites.

My legs and I are not looking forward to a Canadian winter without my pantaloons.

Regards,
Coco

----- Original Message -----
From: Bernice Heard
To: Monkey, Coco T.
Sent: Tue Aug 21 17:39:32 2007
Subject: RE: Missing Laundry

Dear Coco,

No disrespected intended, I have been out of the office for a couple of days, but will be back on Thursday. I am not based at the Carlton, for if I was this would have been sorted out ages ago.

I will look into finding your pantaloons in the morning again or as suggested that we get you a new pair for those legs we don't want getting cold.

Have a lovely day,

Bernice Heard
Customer Relations Manager

Please consider the environment - do you really need to print this email?

----- Original Message -----
From: Monkey, Coco T.
To: Bernice Heard
Sent: Tue Aug 21 19:31:54 2007
Subject: Re: Missing Laundry

Bernice, you cunning adversary,

Not basing yourself at the Carlton and taking the hostage longjohns away from the scene of the crime was a brilliant move, but you have no idea what you are up against. Never bet against a Canadian when pants (REAL pants) are on the line.

If I do not receive a picture of the poor legwarmers shown with a copy of today's Scotsman (so I know there isn't any funny business going on) within 30 minutes, I will be forced to disregard your wishes and hastily destroy the environment by printing a copy of this email, and will remain doing so every half hour until the situation changes, or until deforestation's ugly son, Global Warming, forces sea level rise to do my dirty work, making Arthur's seat but an island.

Check, and mate.

Coco