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Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Inmate # 8943231

Time for some BIG news. All right, this is beyond news. This is like Pearl Harbor. Or the Kennedy assassination. It's like not even news. It's total shock.
Pchrist, is getting married! Get out!

That's right. I am writing to inform all (i.e. both) of you of the fact that I have turned myself in and am headed off to prison....yep, I asked LN O.D. to marry me and (after a couple hours of convincing) she said "Yes".

I look forward to a lifetime of man-made prison jokes from my fellow JTC Board Members and one helluva bachelors party.


JohnnyM said...

JERRY: We were talking about our lives and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men.

KRAMER: So, then you asked yourselves, "Isn't there something more to life?"

JERRY: Yes. We did.

KRAMER: Yeah, well, let me clue you in on something. There isn't.

JERRY: There isn't?

KRAMER: Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, JERRY:? Marriage? Family?

JERRY: Well...

KRAMER: They're prisons. Man made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning. She's there. You go to sleep at night. She's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?

JERRY: Really?

KRAMER: Yeah, and you can forget about watching TV while you're eating.

JERRY: I can?

KRAMER: Oh, yeah. You know why? Because it's dinner time. And you know what you do at dinner?

JERRY: What?

KRAMER: You talk about your day. How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know. How about you? How was your day?


KRAMER: It's sad , Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs..

JERRY: I'm glad we had this talk.

KRAMER: Oh, you have no idea.

Coco The Monkey said...

Holy shit, this is awesome news. And by 'awesome', I mean 'another loss to mankind'. Oh well, another one bites the dust. Seems right though, after several nights babbling in the red light district of amsterdam (read: heavily gay area attracting people like Coco in assless chaps) I figure this eventuality is set for us all. It's the deathstar that we all can't stop flying our x-wing by, and eventually, you end up flying right in, thinking it's all fun an exciting, and then in the end, figuring out that it was your incarnation and your evil parents set up the whole thing. Fucking Vader.

Be well young skywalker, I shall return to Trawnaland in less than 24 of your earth hours.