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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Co-Worker Antics

Earlier this week, the Metro newspaper here in Toronto published this article, which included a list of "crazy" things that people had witnessed their co-workers do on the job. While I admit that some of them look a little odd, most of them pale in comparison to the co-worker antics that are described to me by a certain someone I happen to live with.

I sent her the link to the article above, and asked her to provide me with a list of the most bat shit crazy observations from her place of employment. Enjoy:

o Co-worker horking and spitting into garbage can regularly. Or just horking in general.
o Co-worker shaving in cubicle.
o Co-worker nail clipping in cubicle.
o Co-worker letting one out and asking you if you heard it/smelled it.
o Co-worker debating the merits of whether or not to stay at home or come into the office the day someone needed a colonoscopy b/c the doctor is close to work and the bathroom is also closer to his cubicle than at home.
o Co-worker performing eczema body rub in washroom stall with ruler and watching flakes fall.
o Co-worker wearing coloured thong with white dress pants.
o Male co-worker asking other male co-workers during meeting "would you accept $1M in exchange for taking it up the ass?"
o Co-worker using urinal and brushing teeth at the same time.
o Co-worker using urinal and eating an apple at the same time.
o Co-worker using urinal and eating a carrot at the same time.
o Co-worker using washroom stall and peeling an orange at the same time.
o Co-worker using urinal and reviewing report at the same time.
o Co-worker peeling carrot into the bathroom sink.
o Boob lookers.
o Co-workers using the “run into you and then scoop you in” trap.
o Co-worker bringing girlfriend into cubicle for make out session.
o Co-worker bringing bedroll to work so he can sleepover.
o Co-worker leaving the building at 11 pm with office furniture.
o Co-worker washing feet in bathroom sink.
o Co-worker reserving desk drawer for peanut shells.
o Co-worker picking nose and collecting boogers on side of desk.
o Co-worker discussing merits of Cialis vs. Viagra.
o Co-worker making donut sandwich in meeting (one chocolate between two vanilla).
o Co-workers having loud verbal dispute re: thermostat control.
o Co-worker sending section wide e-mail telling boss that he can’t come into work today b/c he’s got “heavy diarrhea”.
o Co-worker using expression ‘drain the lizard’.
o Co-worker overhears another co-worker say “when can I see your boobies again"?

Feel free to add more in the comments...


Anonymous said...

I saw nose-picking and booger collecting on the subway just this morning, but on the side of a seat.

m.i. said...

o Co-worker unabashedly pouring liquor into coffee cup