A quick list of things I currently do that would get me in a lot less trouble if I was a baby

• Farting
• Shitting my pants
• Making a stink sphere that encompasses everyone around me
• Blatantly ignoring people who don't interest me
• Flipping the bird under the false premise of an accidental hand gesture
• Drinking heavily from a bottle until I vomit all over myself
• Gawking at women's breasts while making suggestive faces