Welcome to JTC Inc.

Chaps: because if they had an ass, they'd just be called pants.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Tales of Hypocrisy! - Volume 1

Both of you probably remember my searing insightful - yet hilarious - post about people who sit in the wrong seats on airplanes and sporting events.

Well, last Tuesday night CoCo and myself were at the Leafs game (shockingly, they lost in a shoot out), and we...uh...sat in the wrong seats. I honestly don't know what happened. When I walked in the stairwell, I made eye contact with the usher who apparently recognized me and said, "You know where you're going." Apparently not. For those of you who don't like to click on links, I'll refresh your memories as to how I previously referred to these fine folks:

"Additionally, there are ushers (aka "Idiot Gate-Keepers") at every entrance into each section to direct illiterate morons."


When we sat down, I...uh...kicked someone out of one of the seats (that wasn't mine). Fortunately, he was an idiot too, and was sitting in the wrong seat. When the rightful owner of the seat I'd planted my fat ass in showed up, I realized I'd made the old "section 318 - section 319 switcheroo". As we moved to the correct seats, I thanked the sweet Lord that the game hadn't started (and that the Leafs weren't on a power play).

Just to show you how strong of character I am, when we took our correct seats, I decided to try and pin our misfortune on my good friend CoCo, with the following exchange:

JohnnyM: "What the hell happened there?"
CoCo: "I don't know."
JohnnyM: "Was that you or me that caused that?"
CoCo: "I'm pretty sure that was you."
JohnnyM: "Son of a bitch."

Sweet fancy Moses, I am a dumb bastard.

Speaking of dumb bastards, the Leafs sent naked cell phone guy down to the minors on Saturday. Just to show that his judgement is still exceptional when it comes to pictures of himself, check out the pic attached to this story.

No comments: