I Am An Idiot, Volume 1

As some of you know, I like to consider myself a triathlete. The evidence of this is that I occasionally like to swim, bike and run. In reality, I’m fat an out of shape…but that’s a different blog entry. Anyhoo, as part of my workouts, in the winter it’s hard to bike outdoors, on account of the snow, ice, darkness, etc. To get around this, cyclists have invented one of the singularly most boring activities known to man – riding on a bike trainer. For those of you who are unfamiliar with bike trainers, basically they’re a stand that you attach the back wheel of your bike to, with a fly wheel that provides resistance. You then peddle to your heart’s content, trying to watch TV to take your mind off the fact that your ass and crotch are completely numb.

Here’s a picture I found on the web of what a bike trainer set-up typically looks like:















I’d like to point out the fact that when I use my trainer, I usually like to wear a shirt. That’s not to say that I’m some sort of shirt-nazi…no way. For no real reason, here’s a list of things I like to do with no shirt on:
- swimming
- sunbathing
- flexing
- grocery shopping
- babysitting

For some reason, every year when I set up my bike trainer, I’m concerned about damaging the frame of my bike by tightening the clamp too much. So I don’t tighten it enough. Then I start riding. And my bike comes loose from the trainer, so I go sprawling across the floor of my basement. This happened to me again last week. I think I might start wearing my helmet when using my trainer. Why?


Because I am an idiot.